The Thoughts of Love
by RBJ12
Summary: This is a songfic. The first is based off of the song Hero/Heroine. It's Edward's thoughts of Bella. Some spoilers to Twilight, New Moon and possibly Eclipse. Rated T just to be safe. Please read and review.


The Thoughts of Love

Disclaimer: I do not own the song _Hero/Heroine_ written by Boys Like Girls. Nor do I own the Twilight Saga. That belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter One: You're my Heroine

EPOV

Bella; the thought of her alone keeps me awake…well if I could go to sleep, I would be kept awake because of her. She has no idea just how obsessed I am. Actually that's a lie. She knows just how possessive and over protective I am. Though in her case, the over protectiveness has kept her alive. She seems to get into more trouble than any other human beings that I know. Her chocolate brown eyes have penetrated me to my core and she has tied me around her finger, whether she knows it or not. I thought myself to be invincible; too strong and independent to find someone to love and love me back. Then she walked into class; the one who changed everything. Isabella Marie Swan, or Bella has changed me to my very core and the changes can never be taken away. I want her like I've never wanted anything else. She is the only one that challenges my thirst, my hunger. She has dug deep into my soul, or what's left of it, and has a permanent home there.

_  
It's too late baby, there's no turning around  
I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud  
This is how I do  
When I think about you  
I never thought that you could break me apart  
I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart  
You want to get inside  
Then you can get in line  
But not this time  
_

So today I was waiting for her to get out of one of her classes. It was her English class and they were discussing _Wuthering Heights,_ a novel that Bella has read and re-read and re-read so many times that she should have it memorized. So I know that today's discussion at lunch will probably be around that. I smile to myself. It doesn't matter what she wants to talk about as long as she's there with me. To this day and probably for the rest of my existence I'm surprised that she even talks to me. It took me completely off guard that she didn't freak out and run away when I told her and showed her what I was. I'm nothing that she should be hanging out with. I'm part of the living dead and one of the most dangerous predators on this planet. Yet, she is not only going to be sitting with me but we're dating. I've put her life on the line so many times that I had decided to leave her to protect her. That didn't work out so well. Not only for me, as I found out that I was more addicted to her presence than I had thought possible, but also for Bella. She tried doing some stupid things even though I had asked her to not do anything stupid or dangerous. She never really moved on as I had hoped she would. That was the whole point of it; for her to move on to another human that would love her and protect her the way she needed to be protected. It didn't work. Instead she found a werewolf. Of all things! She is a danger magnet! I should never have left. However that's different story for another time.

_  
Cause you caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming  
_

I ended up coming back, though it took some time and it's another long story. The short of it, Bella saved me. She came and pulled me up and out of my misery. I'm sure in her eyes, I'm the hero. I don't know where she gets that idea. I put her in danger just about as much as I save her. But now she has become my life. She's my heroine. If I was asked by anybody who my hero or heroine is, I would have to say Bella Swan and I know she will never fully understand that. I love her with all of who I am.

_  
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine  
_

She walks out of her class room and walks towards me. I have no idea where she gets the idea that she's plain or not beautiful. She's far from plain. She's the most beautiful creature that I've ever met and she has captured my frozen heart and has heated it up. She knows exactly who and what I am and what I have done yet she's not scared, she doesn't run away from me. She just forgives me for the hurts I have caused her and loves me. It's the most unreal thing ever. We walk to the cafeteria and I hear the thoughts of those around us. If only Bella could hear this, she would either be a crimson red with anger or embarrassment. I love it when she blushes. It is one of the most beautiful features about her. It's proof that she's alive and real. That this isn't some vision that can't possibly come true. Bella is real and she's mine. She looks up at me while we wait in the lunch line, her eyes sparkling with happiness over whatever they had talked about in class. I stand there with a million thoughts running through my head and not all of them are mine. Most are those around us. All except for Bella, her thoughts are hidden from me which I know Bella likes most of the time. I just stare down at her in amazement as I listen to what she's saying. I pick up some food for the both of us though it's really just for Bella and pay for it then we go to sit at our regular table. Bella looks beautiful today, in the blue blouse. I love how it looks on her. I need to, or Alice needs to, buy Bella some other clothes that are close to that style and color. We sit there discussing our plans for the weekend and anything else that comes up. Our time is up and we both have to go to class. I walk with her by my side, with my hand gently touching the small of her back to guide her out of the cafeteria. I watch as my siblings walk in front of us to go to their classes and when Bella runs up to catch up with Alice as they share the next class. However, just before she reaches Alice, Bella trips over her feet and is about to fall down. Instantly I'm at her side and am holding her at her waist so that she doesn't fall down. Some of the other students kind of laugh as I help Bella stand up on her feet. Of course Bella is turning a nice shade of red from embarrassment. Alice turns around and chuckles and takes Bella by the hand as they go to class. Bella turns around and mouths her goodbyes and a whispered "I love you". I chuckle and walk off to my class. I honestly don't know why I'm going since I know I won't be completely able to concentrate on the teacher.

_  
I won't try to philosophize  
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes  
This is how I feel  
And it's so surreal  
I got a closet filled up to the brim  
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons  
And I don't know why  
You'd even try  
But I won't lie  
_

These feelings I have for her, for Bella, a human, surprises me. As I'm sure it surprised the rest of my family. I'm glad they, for the most part, like Bella and accept her. If they didn't, I don't know what I would have done. I actually might have left the family and taken Bella and we would have lived on our own. I know that's a bit extreme and I'm glad I didn't have to worry about that. However, I never expected to have these feelings. That first day she sat by me I thought I was going to kill her along with 20 other students.

_  
You caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming_

But it was because of her in a way that I didn't. I ran away instead. I wanted to put as much distance as I could to make sure that I protected my family. I didn't want to do something that would bring a light to the mythical world. Though I realized in going to Alaska I couldn't stay away from her. She had already become my drug. I was addicted without even really knowing or understanding her. Within a few days of coming back there was an icy day and that's when I figured out that I loved her. She would have been taken out by a van that hit the ice wrong but I ended up putting my family in jeopardy by saving her life. I couldn't let her die. For some reason, though I know it's going to be the death of me someday, I couldn't watch her die. For some reason she was already important to me without me even really knowing her. That was also the day that, I believe, I became a hero to Bella.

_  
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine  
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?  
_

Before Bella, I didn't know what I was looking for. I didn't realize what I was waiting for, that the past 100 years, it was actually Bella. Women, both human and vampire, threw themselves at me but I didn't want them. I could hear their thoughts and it repulsed me for the most part. But Bella is totally different. I can't hear her and her actions towards me or anybody else are pure and gentle, at least for the most part. She unlocked my heart and melted it with her own warm, human one. She's special. When she smiles, it's the most beautiful thing ever. It lights up her eyes and face and she becomes radiant. Someday I want to record her on a video camera and show her the tape afterwards and give a minute by minute commentary and try to get her to believe it herself.

_  
And I feel a weakness coming on  
Never felt so good to be so wrong  
Had my heart on lockdown  
And then you turned me around  
I'm feeling like a new born child  
Every time I get a chance to see you smile  
It's not complicated  
I was so jaded  
_

I never want to leave her again. It's sometimes so hard to just go to class when I know she's not going to be there with me. School has ended and I'm walking to her classroom to pick her up and take her to the car. She's coming home with me today and hanging out with my family. I know Esme will like that as will Jasper and Emmett. They've been teaching her how to play some video games. Currently they are working on Kingdom Hearts. They figured it would be easy for her to learn and be enjoyable. The only reason why we even have the games is because of Alice…but Bella seems to enjoy hanging out with my brothers. Emmett teases her relentlessly but Bella takes it in stride and tries to not punch him when she gets frustrated. She learned the hard way that it doesn't help and that she gets more hurt than he does. She also wants me to teach her how to play the piano; I've been trying to find some beginner books for her to start out with but I've given up and I just plan on teaching her from my memory. Bella had even made an effort when Rosalie is out in the garage working on her car to go out and talk with her and ask some questions about car mechanics. Rosalie has on a number of times gotten frustrated and annoyed at Bella and has even expressed it but Bella keeps working at it though we can all tell that she probably would rather be anywhere else than out in that garage. Alice was the most welcoming of Bella, out of all of us. We all believe it's because of the visions Alice had before we even really got to know Bella. However, Bella tries to avoid Alice when she's at our home more because she's afraid that she will end up becoming a human Barbie doll, which Bella hates. Her love of all of us just astounds me. It's the most amazing thing, to be accepted and loved no matter what I am or who I am. She's my heroine.

_  
And you caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming_

_I feel like a hero and you are my heroine  
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?  
_

I'm one of the most powerful predators that exists on this planet but when it comes to Bella, I become the most weakest. Her love melts away my hard exterior and I don't care. It doesn't matter that she's has become my life. She is my sin and I don't care. I will protect her with all my being and I will love her until neither of us exists. She was the one that saved my life and brought me out of this eternal sleep that I had placed myself under. Bella is forever my life, my love, my sin, and my heroine.

_  
(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)  
And I feel a weakness coming on  
Never felt so good to be so wrong  
Had my heart on lockdown  
And then you turned me around  
(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)  
I'm feeling like a new born child  
Every time I get a chance to see you smile  
It's not complicated_

_I was so jaded_

(A/N: Thank your for reading this songfic. Please read and review and tell me what you think I hope to add at least one more chapter in Bella's perspective. Thank you again.)


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